The Strange War Read online

command and carry responsibility, and there wouldn't be any loot from which he could take the lion's share.

  He wandered into the village of the Raspberry people and said to them, “Listen. The Pear people don't have anything to eat anymore. They spent everything on the war. So there's a big danger that the Pear people will start robbing you next!”

  The Raspberry people scratched their heads and said, “We never did anything to them!”

  “That doesn't matter,” said Mr. Stone. “They're robbers and will take their loot where they can get it.”

  “That's terrible!” said the Raspberry people. “What should we do? We don't understand anything about waging wars.”

  “But we do!” said Mr. Stone. “I have a suggestion: give us a few bushels of raspberries - and we'll protect you from the Pear people.”

  “All right,” sighed the Raspberry people. “What other choice do we have?”

  And then Mr. Stone went back to the Plum people's village and told the Plum people, “It'll be almost one year before the next plum harvest! What do you expect to live on in the meantime? If we make peace, we'll be hungry for a whole year! But if we team up with the Raspberry people to fight against the Pear people, then we'll get raspberries from them right away.”

  “Yeah, that's better,” shouted the young men, who had already gotten used to fighting. “We're better at fighting than at raising plums.”

  The other Plum people scratched their heads and said: “To be hungry for a whole year! Who can stand that?” And they too went along with Mr. Stone.

  Only Mrs. Prunestem looked worried and just shook her head.

  But, in the meantime, the Pear people's field marshal had formed an alliance with the Apple people. And so everything started all over again: the Raspberry people and the Apple people had to build walls around their villages too, and weave nets, and build catapults and siege towers, and besides that they had to give their protectors half of their fruit. And when the year was up, on the whole planet there was nothing left to eat and nothing left to steal.

  Then Mrs. Prunestem called all of the women on the planet together - that was possible because there were only four villages - and she said to them,

  “We can't go on living like this. Robbing and fighting wars don't make plums and raspberries and apples and pears grow. Somebody has to do the work or there wouldn't even be any loot. And since we only have just enough when everybody does his or her work, we just can't afford all this robbery! You can't eat nets and ladders and catapults and walls and siege towers!”

  “Right!” said the women.

  “So, tell your husbands that they should shake hands with each other and get back to the orchards at once! Or we'll all starve to death!”

  “All right!” said the women.

  And so a treaty was concluded, and the men all shook each other's hands and mumbled, “Excuse me, it won't happen again.” And then there was peace on the planet Hortus again. And after two, almost three years, everyone once again had enough to eat, and Mrs. Prunestem made gifts of pots of plum jelly to the other villages, and the women from the other villages sent apple cake and pear sauce and raspberry pie.

  And because peace reigned for so long, the people also had time to reflect a little and to invent things. One person invented special tongs that you could use to pick apples without climbing up into the trees. And another person developed a variety of raspberry bushes that had no thorns. And one person invented a tool that made it easy to take the stone out of a plum. And another invented a special knife for peeling pears.

  “This is fine,” said the women, “now everybody only needs to work half a day, and there's still enough for everyone.”

  But one day Mr. Stone stood up and said to the Plum people, “This is no good. People are lying around doing nothing half the day just because our work has become easier with the new plum de-stoner. What if the Pear people decide to ambush us and force us to work for them the other half of the day? The Pear people invented a new pear peeler. That poses a big danger because, if they don't have to work the whole day anymore in order to have enough to eat, then they now have time to build new siege towers and catapults! So we can't waste half the day playing games and telling stories: with our new plum de-stoner we now have enough time to think about our defense. Instead of just working half the day, it would be better if half of us worked the whole day, and the other half built catapults and spent time in training exercises. Now we can afford to support a standing army. That's the only way to protect ourselves from another attack by the Pear people, who will one day enslave us!”

  And so the whole thing would have almost started all over again, if . . .

  . . . if Mrs. Prunestem hadn't stood up and slapped Mr. Stone in the face with everybody watching. And he sat down nice and quiet and never said a word again.

  When the Soldiers Came

  When the soldiers came we were hiding in a cave out in the desert. We had a goatskin full of water with us, some loaves of bread and some figs. That was all. Our two goats we had left behind and I was sad because grandfather said we would never see them again, the soldiers would kill them and eat them. Mother was weeping silently, but she let the baby suck her breasts all the time so he would not start crying and maybe give away our hiding place. I knew I must not cry because I was a big girl already and grandfather said I understood everything like a grown up person. But I could talk with grandfather very low, only from time to time he thought he heard some noise outside and I had to be quiet so he could listen better.

  “Why will the soldiers kill our goats?” I said to grandfather. “Don't they like to drink milk?”

  “They like to drink milk all right, but they like to eat meat even better. But most of all they don't want the soldiers of king Babak to eat the goats.”

  “Is not king Babak our king?”

  “That's what they say.”

  “Then should we not have taken the goats with us to save them for the soldiers of king Babak?”

  “The goats would have given us away. And it does not matter if the soldiers of king Babak or the soldiers of king Ubuk eat them.

  “But if king Ubuk wins the war, will his soldiers not kill us all?”

  “No. When the war is over, we will have to pay tribute to king Ubuk instead of king Babak. That is all the difference.”

  “But is not king Babak our rightful king and the father of the country? Is he not the father of us all?”

  “That's what the priests say, yes. But before him, Erek was our king and the father of the country and we had to pray for his health in the temple. Babak then was the king across the river. Then Babak and Erek had a fight because Erek had defiled Babak's honour and Babak's army defeated Erek's army and Erek was killed and Babak took his country.”

  “Did not also king Ubuk defile king Babak's honour?”

  “That's what they say, yes.”

  “So was not king Babak right to fight for his honour?”

  “This is what kings do.”

  “Don't you fight for your honour, grandfather?”

  “We peasants do not fight for our honour. When the priest calls me a lazy swine because I do not bring enough corn to the storehouse, I cannot defend my honour. The priests would have me flogged to death. But with kings it is different. All kings must learn to defend their honour.”

  “Why kings and not peasants?”

  “When a king's honour is defiled by another king he will call together his army and fight with the other king. Sometimes he loses his life in battle. And sometimes the other king is killed and the survivor will add the loser's kingdom to his own kingdom. The loser does not know that fighting for your honour can kill you, because he is dead. And the winner learns that it pays to defend one's honour. When my grandfather was young there were thirty small kingdoms in this valley. Now there are five bigger ones.”

  “Because the kings had fights with each other? Because their honour had been defiled?”

  “It was always something l
ike that”, said grandfather.

  “But what if a king does not want to defend his honour? What if a king does not want to fight and have his people killed and wounded and suffering?”

  “Then the other kings will think he is weak and will take away his country anyway.”

  “And has it always been like that? Have there always been wars to make bigger and bigger kingdoms?”

  “I don't know”, said grandfather. “My grandfather said that once there were no kings, only farmers. He said they lived together in villages. And that they did not know about war. I can imagine it is true what my grandfather said. Why should they fight with the neighbouring village? Why should they want to take away their land? A farmer can only cultivate so much land. He has no use for more land than he and his family can cultivate. Oh well, maybe they had many children and after some time there would be a few more families that needed land. Would they start a fight to take away someone else's land? I doubt it. I think they would rather divide the land they had than take the risk to start a fight and maybe get killed. And even if they started a fight they would stop when they had won enough land. There would always be a limit to their greed. But to a king's greed there is never a limit.”

  “Is a king a different being from a peasant?” I said. “Maybe it is a different kind of animal, like a goat is not the same as a sheep?”

  “I don't think so” said grandfather. “I think if you take the son of a peasant and bring him up as a